


Reraise

by lmrgsehashori (orphan_account)



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: Fluff, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMORU!!!!, M/M, i dont even remember writing this, rlly cheesy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 04:06:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16189730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lmrgsehashori
Summary: As long as Mamoru can stay by his side, that is the most precious gift that he could ask for.





	Reraise

Mamoru often wondered what he would be if he hadn’t met Kou.

He sighed. He dropped his pen and lied down on his bed. He had to write lyrics for his solo. Growth had decided that they would try do write their own lyrics for the _X Lied_ series for a change. Everyone decided to write their own lyrics then have Mamoru  edit and put finishing touches to compose the songs. Whilst this was no problem for Mamoru, for the first time, he was stuck in writing his lyrics.

Mamoru would often grab inspiration from his mood and surroundings to write lyrics, but he simply had no idea what to write right now.

“Mamoru?” Mamoru sit up when he heard a familiar voice. He looked and saw Kou at the door, on his hand was a cup of tea.

“Ah, Kou-kun, what brings you here?” He asked the blonde.

“I brewed some tea, do you want some?”

Mamoru nodded, happy to receive the tea that Kou made. Kou sat beside him as he drank the tea. He noticed Kou glancing at his table where there was a blank paper on top. “Are you thinking of what to write for your song?”

“Yes, but I can’t think of anything so I lied down for a moment.” Mamoru answered.

Kou looked at him worriedly. “You can’t think of any lyrics? Are you perhaps in a bad mood?”

“That’s not it. You see, this will be our first solo songs, so I wanted to write something that could express my true feelings, something that I want to convey.” Kou stared at him, to which he replied with a look of confusion.

“…What about yours, Kou-kun?” He asked to break the silence.

“Ah, I thought that I could walk around to think, I already know what I want to write.” Kou replied.

This brought an idea to Mamoru. “…Walk, you’re right, I’m going out for a bit. Maybe I could think up some lyrics if I do that.”

Kou chuckled as Mamoru went to get a coat. “I’ll bring the tea cup to the sink.” Mamoru said. Kou grabbed his hand before he was able to go out his room. He felt his heart skip a beat. _His hand is so soft._ Mamoru thought.

“Wait, I almost forgot, your scarf is still in the laundry right? It’s really cold outside, if you still want to go out, I’ll lend you mine.” Kou said. Mamoru nodded and proceeded to walk to the kitchen. There, he saw Ryota and Ken discussing about the lyrics that they were writing. He chuckled at the display.

“Mamoru, here.” Kou appeared and gave him his scarf. Mamoru wrapped it around his neck, Kou’s smell overwhelming, he tried not to show the flush on his face. Kou walked him through the entrance of their dorm.

“I’ll be going now.”

“Okay, take care.” Kou smiled, Mamoru felt his heart skip another beat.

 

 

 

It was indeed cold. Mamoru walked through the street, looking at shops and the people around. He was again lost in his thoughts about what to write. _I am indeed looking for inspirations, but where?_ Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice someone coming on his way and bumped on the person.

He stumbled a bit, looking at the person he bumped into, he saw that it was Procellarum’s Rui.

“Ah, Rui, I’m sorry, are you okay?” He asked as he offered a hand to which Rui accepted.

“It’s okay. Sorry for not looking.” Rui said.

“No, I’m sorry, I was the one lost in thoughts.” He apologized as he watched Rui dust off the dirt from his clothes. He looked around and noticed that the boy was alone, which was a rare sight.

“You’re alone. Where were you going?” He asked.

“Ah, I was going to go to an instrument store.”

“Can I go with you? I have nothing to do anyway.” Mamoru asked, he thought that if he went to the store, he might think up lyrics.

“Sure.”

 

 

 

“…Are you going to play something?” Mamoru asked. Rui nodded and proceeded to a piano.

He listened to the piece Rui was playing. Something soft with a mix of gentleness and a strong will about something. He liked the the music Rui was playing. “What’s that piece called?” He asked the younger.

“This… it’s my own composition.”

“It’s beautiful! Are you planning to play it to someone?” Mamoru asked. Rui looked at him with surprise.

“How did you know?”

“Ah… well, it felt like you were trying to say something in it.”

“Say something… yes… Recently, Koi, Kakeru and Ikkun seemed down. They had an injury while we were playing in the snow, so I think it was the cause.  We have another joint concert so I think that they are pressured. Although we are trying to assure them that it was okay, they seem to think otherwise… We were all thinking of a way of cheering them up… I wanted to compose something but we are all in a shared dorm, so hiding it is hard… so I come here often to borrow the piano…” Rui answered, a bit tense on talking about the reason. Mamoru noticed and cleared up his intentions.

“A song to cheer them up huh… that’s beautiful.”

“Yes… I want to express my feelings through this song… I’ve received encouragement from everyone when they heard me play. It made me so happy. They would always listen to whatever piece I play…” Mamoru’s expression softened. Rui continued, “ the world are so much full of sounds. There’s different kinds of sounds, with that number of sounds, no, even more than that, there’s different kinds of music… to be able to produce songs full of my feelings is what I want, and what I’m aiming for.”

_“I want your song, which is full of unique view of the world. It has a novel feeling, something that has never existed before.”_

Mamoru eyes widened in realization when he remembered that line. Rui seemed to notice and asked him. “Mamoru? What’s wrong? Your face is red.”

“Ah it’s nothing! Nothing! I just remembered something from what you said.”

“…Is that so?”

Mamoru nodded and Rui continued playing. Hearing the piece bubbled up something in Mamoru’s chest. _That’s right… I remember, I first met Kou-kun when I was playing the piano and was starving…_

_He took me to his house and even cooked food for me huh? Kou-kun sure is odd, taking in a stranger and even feeding him… I wonder what would’ve happen to me if he didn’t find me._

_A person who would be willing to take in a stranger whose only redeeming feature is his positivity for his music compositions._

_Meeting Ryota-kun and Ken-kun later on, they also accepted me. Though they were suspicious at me at first._

He remembered when Kou, Ryota and Ken were dejected after losing the chance to debut at their ex-agency. He was panicking silently because they looked so dejected, he wanted to cheer them up and ended up telling them about the audition notice that he saw.

_Kou-kun wanted to quit his old agency and start anew, he went and even ask me to create their songs. Ryota-kun then told me to join their group. To be invited, to be complemented._

He remembered when Kou was down about being told about how he was being too good. There he told Kou that he should focus on people who loves him instead of those backlashing at him.

_“I love you, Kou-kun.”_

Mamoru’s face flushed again, embarrassed on remembering his confession. Kou had thought it to be a follow up on what he said, but Mamoru actually accidentally confessed, wanting to prove Kou that there are people who truly love him.

_I don’t know when… I just realized that time. I don’t know when, or how… I just realized that I loved him all along…_

“Mamoru?” Mamoru went back to reality when a soft voice called out to him. He looked and saw Rui organizing his music sheets.

“Sorry, I really liked the song so much it made me remember a lot of things.”

“…thank you.” Rui said. “Although, are you really alright? Your face is really red.”

“E-eh?” Mamoru stuttered, flustered, he tried to escape the answer. But Rui was fast.

“…Was there also something you wanted to convey to someone?”

“Eh?”

“You were so curious on who I am conveying my song to, so I thought that you also wanted to convey something to someone.”

Mamoru’s lips parted. Then closed. “… Maybe… I wanted to compose a song, but I didn’t know what to write… Thank you, Rui-kun.”

Rui looked at him with confusion. “I don’t know what I did, but I was of help, then I’m glad.”

“Ah wait, can I get a copy of your composition? I want to hear it again.”

“I didn’t record it though. I’ll have it recorded then send it to you later. I’ll ask Kai to do it… then, will you give me your contact?”

They exchanged contacts.

“Well then, I’ll take my leave now, Mamoru.” Rui said.

“Goodbye Rui-kun. See you later. Good luck on your next concrt.” Mamoru replied, to which Rui nodded with a smile and left.

Feeling refreshed himself, Mamoru went back to the dorm. He smelled Kou’s scent on the scarf he lent him. Smiling, he went back inside to his room, locked his room and began to write. Remembering a lot of things.

From when he first met Kou. When Kou offered him to stay at his house in exchange for a composition every day. He couldn’t do any housework, he can’t even cook, in a sense, he is useless. Yet Kou found something in him.

It seemed like composing a piece everyday would be hard, but Kou was expecting something every day and Mamoru was eager to meet those expectations. Kou was always eager to hear Mamoru’s compositions, it gave Mamoru the boost he needed. Even if it was the only thing he could do in exchange, if it meant a lot to Kou, he wasn’t going to drop the worth of what he can give.

Every morning, exchanging greetings with Kou, every night, waiting for him to come home. _Huh, Ken-kun was right. I am Kou-kun’s dog._

Whenever Kou was dejected, Mamoru wanted to cheer him up. He was always happy when Kou was in a good mood. It was then his world began to revolve around Kou.

When Mamoru was lost and didn’t know what to do after the company he worked at went to bankruptcy, he was sure that he would end up alone. Alone and nowhere to go. A miserable end. He didn’t want to give up, he tried to escape reality by playing the piano. He didn’t know that that decision would lead him to meet Kou.

To be involved with Kou so much. Meeting Ryota and Ken. Becoming a composer and an idol. It was Kou who caused all of this. Kou meant everything to Mamoru.

Before Mamoru realized it, he was in love. Seeing Kou gave him a different feeling from what he feels from Ryota and Ken. Looks like Ryota had realized it as well and confronted Mamoru.

* * *

_“Mamoru…” Ryota began to speak. Mamoru flinched at the tone of Ryota’s voice._

_“W-what is it Ryo-kun? For you to talk to me alone, is there something going on?”_

_“That’s what I’d like to know.”_

_Mamoru was taken aback. “E-eh?” He stuttered._

_“Mamoru, I’m going to be blunt. Do you love Kou in a romantic way?”_

_Mamoru was silent. He was going to speak, but no voice was coming out of his mouth. He covered his mouth as his face began to redden. Ryota asked again, “Mamoru, are you in love with Kou?”_

_He took a deep breath. “…Yes.” He confessed, feeling like there would be no point of trying to hide it from Ryota. “I…love Kou-kun.”_

_Ryota’s eyes widened. He was indeed the one to ask but hearing it from the person itself was surprising indeed. “So… do you know how Kou feels about you?”_

_“E-eh…” Mamoru stuttered. He took a deep breath. Remembering Kou, he answered, “I think he just thinks of me like before, a friend, a member of the same idol unit, or brother.”_

_“So…”_

_“Ah! Don’t worry Ryo-kun! I don’t plan on confessing! I know that he doesn’t feel the same way in the least.”_

_Ryota leaned against his chair, staring intently at Mamoru. “You’ll be okay even if this is a fruitless unrequited love?”_

_“…Yes.”_

_“Hmm…”_

_“Ryota-kun…”_

_“What is it?”_

_“You already had your first love right?”_

_“Yeah? Why?”_

_“Well, so do I. It wasn’t a fruitful one either. But I loved that person, I was happy to be able to stay by her side for a while, even if it didn’t last long. I’m not greedy. I only request that the one I love would let me stay by their side. Only that and I’m satisfied.”_

_Ryota’s face softened. “Yeah… I understand how you feel.”_

_“That’s why…” Mamoru looked at Ryota. “Please keep this a secret from Kou-kun and Ken-kun.”_

_Ryota was about to answer but he was interrupted. “Make that just Kou then.” Surprised, they looked at Ken who was leaning against the door. “Ken—”_

_Ken raised both of his hands, “Wait— I’ve been listening from the ‘I don’t plan on confessing’ part! I was just not saying anything since I was on alert if Kou was about to enter!”_

_Mamoru and Ryota sighed in relief. “Thanks, Ken-kun.”_

_Ken slapped his back, “Don’t worry! If you need anyone to talk to about it, I’m here for you. I’ll keep it a secret.”_

_“Mamoru, you really love him huh?” Ryota confirmed. Mamoru nodded in response._

_“I’m already happy with the way things are.”_

_Ryota and Ken gave a knowing look to each other. Ken spoke, “If that’s what you want, We’ll respect that. You can just tell us if you have any problems about it.”_

_“What are you guys talking about?” The three flinched as they saw Kou behind Ken. Ryota quickly ran to Kou’s side, lightly pushing him out. “Nothing, we were just talking about Mamoru’s new song. We were waiting for you, let’s go back to the dorm.”_

_“H-hey, don’t push me.” Kou said as he and Ryota took their leave._

_Mamoru sighed. “That scared me.” He said to Ken._

_Ken said nothing and stared at him, like he wanted to say something. “What?” Mamoru asked._

_“You know… ah never mind, I already talked about that. Let’s follow them Mamoru. ”_

* * *

 

A message that he wanted to convey.

 

Kou is the reason that he is moving forward.

 

_This song will be my confession to you, Kou._

 

Everything that he wanted to say.

 

Through the song, he’ll confess everything.

 

His feelings.

 

His emotions.

 

His wish.

 

His dream.

 

_I love you, Kou._


End file.
